I want to burn down the city

yes, I have a new job. I like it a lot.

but I dont want it to be the most important thing in my life. so I wont let it.
we went to a fashionshow this friday. a friend of ours who did it for her exams. and another friend was modeling (we introduced them haha).
Been to a lame houseparty.
me and an old co worker went to the place were I once were at an afterparty-until-12-so-we-dint-make-it-to-our-flatwieving, a couple a weeks ago (but first we went to some warehouseparty and Cs jesus was there, acting really weird. amusing!). we had a blast and got proper smashed. she forgot the very expensive bracelet she got from her boyfriend for her 20th birthday in the guys bed (where we all fell asleep in a big...bunch of bodies haha). anyways, yesterday we wnet back to get it. then we all went to joiners to sing some karaoke. we never got to the singing part tho, which prob was a got thing, since I have the worst vocie ever.

its a really nice day, so I should get something done now.
but I wonder..
C, where are you!!!??

Spelar det någon roll? Nej kanske ingen. Kanske allt, egentligen.

oi oi. i hate fotball. and working. and not beeing able to party all the time. and people who act like they are 12 years old. like everyone at my work.
the best girl i have met in london so far is leaving. shes going to NYC for a very cool and impressing project, and im gonna miss her so much. we had goodbye drinks on her roof yesterday. i got a beautiful photo of john lennon and yoko ono from her. she said the photo reminded her of me and my good heart. i melted. the moon was so huge and the view was amazing.

right now, i just want to get fucking wasted. think that im gonna work on that and go to a bar where my friend is working before i start my shift. (yes, i do drink before work. no, its not to recomend if you dont have my job)

I suggested to Q that talking a walk round east london should be our new activity insted of lying in bed smoking and listening to music during the nights we dont go out. she wasent very happy about that, and we decided that that could be like once a month or something.

i miss Q, btw. shes working now, which feels a bit wierd. im so used to always have her right next to me.

3.900 people die every year out of erotic activeties

we´ve had more friends visiting. seems like we´re never alone anymore. have spent the days with going to arty things and drinking wine and playing cards. lovely. this week im going to a friends fashionshow. its gonna be soo good. other then that, im gonna work, and go out, ofc. and i do need to do some shopping, cus i dont have anything at all to wear, which freaks me out a bit. there is also this massive party on sat night that i am extremly exhighted about. its all gonna be oh so good!
but tonight, im going to my lover, haha.

or maybe I shouldn't leave at all

yes, I've been in fucking turkey. and now Im a bigger mess then ever, haha. seriously, it's not pretty.

I left on a friday. I realized that leaving on a friday is never a good thing, cuz thursday nights always seems to be the crazyest. (but a realized, just now, that last time, I left on a thursday and I was about to throw up on the airport cuz that wednesday night was so crazy..so maybe it's just leaving I shouldnt do.) I acctually was a bit nervous this time tho, cuz it was easy to tell by my eyes what I had been doing last night. or at least that I had been doing something illegal.

it was a long night, in a very good way. we went to east end thrift store, to the galleries, to catch, to joiners and to the french guy with the weird name. I had fun the entire time.
I slept an hour before going to the airport.

and now Im back, where I belong, it seems.

I quit my job. And me and V are goin to the occupied house later tonight. we are doing a project, and I hope it turns out good. exciting anyways.
Q

unmade beds

one of the best things about thursday night was that i had my own crowd. it was so fucking good. there were three of them and they all really loved me, gave me cigaretts, called me princess and followed me around everywhere. so fucking great.
then i lost them on my way to an afterparty which i later decided not to attend, but to go home to a complete stranger who i had never seen before i asked where he lived.
i have his t-shirt now. and his phonenumber. maybe i shall text him? he does have an amazing flat very close to my job.

my job.. its starting to get better. i got 10 pounds from my boss the other say, just like that. and then she wanted me to take a cab home and give the bill to her. i felt like a whore, haha!

en cigg, en cola light och smaken av methadron i nasan.

not sure what to say, have so many funny things to say about yesterday and the future and everything but im feeling like shitt. the whole world is still spinning around. havent eaten anything exept from a chocolate bar on the east end thrift store event for 24 hours.

tomorrow am i going to work 13 hours. get me away im dying.
miss Q like crazy.
shes in fucking turkey.

how to look a million dollars

there is really just one person that truly understands me, and i am so happy to have her.

it is so wierd who people really can grow away from eachother. i dont really get it, it feels so sad. and the wierdest thing is that it feels so natural in a way.. god.

last night was the wierdest night ever. i have realized that i should probebly just stay friends and hang out with people i really really like. otherwise, its just a waste of time. and i dont need anyone telling me what to do. i dont need anyone that knows all about the fucking world and drugs and people to teach me what is right and what is wrong. i just want to be by my self and do my own thing. i sound like such a getto girl, haha!

feels like i want to write and write and write, paper up and paper down.
but i cant, cus i dont have time, and i have to take care of a friend of mine.
but i have one important thing to say.
Q, you are the best. i just cant wait for when we can have one of those brilliant Q-and-C nights again. there is so much i want to tell you.