how to look a million dollars

there is really just one person that truly understands me, and i am so happy to have her.

it is so wierd who people really can grow away from eachother. i dont really get it, it feels so sad. and the wierdest thing is that it feels so natural in a way.. god.

last night was the wierdest night ever. i have realized that i should probebly just stay friends and hang out with people i really really like. otherwise, its just a waste of time. and i dont need anyone telling me what to do. i dont need anyone that knows all about the fucking world and drugs and people to teach me what is right and what is wrong. i just want to be by my self and do my own thing. i sound like such a getto girl, haha!

feels like i want to write and write and write, paper up and paper down.
but i cant, cus i dont have time, and i have to take care of a friend of mine.
but i have one important thing to say.
Q, you are the best. i just cant wait for when we can have one of those brilliant Q-and-C nights again. there is so much i want to tell you.

the outsiders

I'm slightly dying. it's so fucking hot. I had ice cream for breakfast. me and C has been hanging out in london fields, getting some sun on our faces. it was so boiling we had to keep in the shadow tho. drank wine and k cider with ice and just had a blast, as always.

we went to a birthday party this saturday. it was really fucking far away (clapham). not the best party we've been to, but I can think of a lot wors things to do a saturday night! we were the coolest girls around, as walter would have put it, haha.

otherwise, a lot of talking with random or not so random people at catch, trying to sort out my job situation, since I wanna quit my current and start at the other one. miss internet like crazy, mostly cus I wanna be able to blog!!! this is shit.

gonna go try finding some not so hot clothes to cover my poor body with now.

det gör ont att veta men lika ont att undra

ohgosh, it is summer for sure. me and q are swetting at the corner cafe just two mins from our flat. but i love it. im off work two days now, feels great. our swedish friend is comming tomorrow.

it has been a blurry coupple of days. we have been out. i have been seeing people who i dont want to see. (that always means someone that i have had sex with, haha!) and people i do want to see. (like this model who i want to have and a really cute and cool blogger.
i have been very very drunk and fucked at work. came home like three hours after closing wearing a wig and i just couldnt stop talking to poor q who was trying to get some sleep. i was so fucking funny, cant stop laughing when i thing about it, q even made a movie of me.
someone got shotten in london fields. that is THREE minutes from were we live (we checked that today, haha) that is so scary....
went to a house party this saturday, in south london. cant remember much about it, tho. more then the fact that i ran away with a very very ugly and paranoid guy in a cab, desperate to try and get some champange at 4 in the morning. the very nice taxi driver laughed at me, and asked if i was scared of black people. then i laughed at him, haha.
ohgod now i just want to rip off all of my clothes and jump in to a big bucket of ice. im dying. have so much more to write, tho, but i cant fucking concentrate.
im gonna send an e-mail to that french guy. i wanne be a superstar and he might make me one?

back in town

I have so much I wanna write about, but I have to run off to work. happy bout being back in london, that's for sure! it's summer dammit. too bad I have to spend my weekend at work tho.

i dont mind if you dont mind, cus i dont shine if you dont shine

okay. wierd coupple of days. im sitting at the cafe 2 min away from our flat again, drinking diet coke, again. my darling Q have been in sweden now since thursday, and i miss her so much. i would say that the flat feels empty whitout her, but i have had company........ the model guy (which i used to call him, no hes not even doing modeling anymore) have spent a coupple of nights there. he might be the wierdest man i have ever met. nothing more about that.
i am dying cus i want to shop so much. i just want clothes, clothes and clothes. bought a little buister/top in leopard print from beyond retro. so nice. wish i had a camera. and i have found a wig that im gonna steel.... its blond, short and oh so nice.
other then that, i just wanna go out. meet fab new people and just go with the flow. wear like nothing and get away with it. have to much make up. drink to much wine. kiss too many ppl. dance to much and laugh to loud. all of those things that is not really ok during the day. (before, i thought that those kind of things just were okay during the weekend. thaha)

i wont fuck her, shes to nice to fuck

ohmygod, yesterday was a blurr!!
went out to that place we always went to when we lived east, i had forgot how much nicer people are there, people east just worry about looking cool and beeing mysterius, but west everyone is just so uncomplicated.
it all started with a big table that we had to bring up with ropes to our roof terrace, then we found six bottles of wine for 10 pounds, that we drank, we had italian friends over baking pizza for us and we got totally wasted and fucked.
after that we went out. ran in to the guy that i made out with when we still went to shitty clubs all over london. he was so nice, he used matches insted of a lighter when he was gonna light his fags. so old fashion and cute!
he didnt recognize me. that kind of sucked.
then i cant really remember so much exept from that i knew all of the songs that the band played, i was standing just in front of the stadge and i was singing and singing. then i had sex with the bartender.
just like that. the bartender that we have been wanting to have sex with for ages now. THE bartender!
its all a blurr. but it is so damn fun! we didnt even really talk. we just had sex. and i didnt even started the whole thing, it was all his idea!! (i love that, cus normally its just me grabbing a guy, like telling them to have sex with me, but this was all his fault!)
god. i am at brick lane coffe now. i only have 2 more minutes left. wish that i could blog more. cus i have like fuckloads more interesting things to blog about! but i cant.

blur blur blur

oh gosh. cant saying it too many times; not having any internet is KILLING ME! dont know what is happening in the world. my parents where here. dad promised me a dongel. hope he remembers!
so, a friend from sweden is comming tomorrow. but im kind of the opposit of between two jobs, more like, having two jobs at the moment. which i hate. but, i cant live on 20 p pasta hoops from lidl forever, haha!
i was so desperate for a fag yesterday, so i tried to smoke grass. green fucking grass. it kind of didnt work out at all. guess Q felt bad about me beeing so poor, got one from her this morning and that was the best fag i have had for aaaages.
tonight, wokring from 7-12. then out!! i hope. just feel like getting drunk and seeing people. and kissing people. i have only been with the same fucking guy for months and months now. which is fine, but not when he stars wanting to hold hands and when he is talking about me with his mum.....
a goodbye kiss at liverpool street station is like a big no no in london if you dont want anyone to know who you are fucking. i mean, daaah theres like soo crowded there a sunday afternoon.. gosh.
cant get anything normal out of me right now.
just feel all blurry.
i miss to be able to blog when im comming home all drunk.

what I like most about you, it is your girlfriend and your shoes

haha, news from our home sweet home:
We got a frying pan (yeehi!) or two really.
C' has got tourettes again (the other day she said that my jacket "wasn't the worst thing about me" for no reason really. quite amusing tho.)
Im rich, payday this friday!
One of our swedish friends might come visit this weekend.
The weather sucks (where did the summer go?)
C's parents been here. Feed us and got us a bit tipsy. Love it.
Im going to sweden for a bit next week. Gonna get some clothes, my camera (or well.. my mums. But its mine now!) and say hi to my family that I havent met in about 7 months.

Gotta go now, I haent been in our bed for like 10 hours! Gah, its my favourite place these days. haha. its quite lame.