blood sweat and tears

okeey, my nose is totaly fucked up.
this is actually a bit scary. i have had noseblood about five times today. not just regular blood, thick disgusting and lumpy blood. it is freaking me out.
the scariest thing is that it comes from my mouth too. when i was spitting yesterday, i spitted up a fucking cup of blood in a bowl next to my bed. (i knooooow, i am fucking disgusting, even more disgusting for telling you!!)
i so scared i wont even go out tonight. and its wednesday.
havent been out since saturday. because i know what will happen. i will get to fucked up. i will do things that are not good.
so. im better off staying in.
(look what that extra year did to me, im fucking sooo mature!)