confusion in her eyes that sais it all, shes lost control again

i fucked up quite bad last night and i feel awful. drank way to much. i was such a bitch to my best friend (Q) which i feel horrible about.
i threw up on the tube on my way to mr dickhead who had been texting the whole night. came to his place, fell asleep without even asking how are you, woke up and threw up in his bed. had a long shower, then we took some drugs, drank some champange, smoked some weed and talked the whole night.
woke up today feeling as bad as a person can poss feel. not just because i was hangoverd, litterly wanted to die.

now, im in my bed watching tv. still feel like a big shit. i mean, thats not acceptable behavior.